Oh, Lord! Oh, my word! I live in another country – one that happens to be miles, and miles, and miles away from the great United States. But due to the grief that you fellows have been causing me lately, given every single day when we all come to work, I am beginning to appreciate how millions, and millions of American citizens must be thinking and must be feeling within the political climate that they now find themselves in – created in large measure by their very own selves. How they conceived of a plan to achieve law and order by supporting public officials who have no respect for law and order is beyond my ability to understand. But, that is America. That is their madness. I am trying to deal with the kind of insanity which confronts me where I live, bedlam which has been caused by the shenanigans of our local scourge about town, Mad Johnny Bwoy. What he is doing in my neck of the woods reminds me, in large measure, of what is happening over there. That being said, if I hear anyone of you say, out loud, and one more time, “Is what next that mad man going to do?” I swear, I am going to hurt somebody!
The first thing in the morning when we get into the office you guys begin to peer down at the street to see what new chaos he is creating for the day. When you get your lunch break – you all do the same thing. And now, on this big-big Friday afternoon, here we are, in our usual, favorite restaurant, to have a few drinks, after a very long day at work, to eat up some nice food to welcome the weekend. And all of you are still looking out the road at the same mad man, asking yourselves, like patrons at the horse racetrack, having placed their bets, and watching geldings a-gallop, “What else, is that mad man going to do, today?”
With everything going on in the world, there is so much we can focus our time and our energy on! The restaurant owner has television screens all over. One, for example, showing the National Premier League. Another one is showing the I.P.L. Cricket League, and another one is tuned into all the beauty shown in the world, which was created by The Almighty, on the Nature Channel. So much else to see! So much! But you fellows, for some strange reason, are besotted by Mad Johnny Bwoy. Broken car glass and shop windows. Twisted metal signs. People dodging and running from flying objects, every single day. And what is curious is that there is never a constable on the scene when he is misbehaving! No oversight! No accountability!
No! No! Don’t tell me that! You were among a whole host of people, from over a year ago, who, like naive school children, soaked up all the reports in the news media about how he was being mistreated in the insane asylum by the doctors, and by the nurses who were, simply, trying to do their jobs. What was wrong with them trying to give him a bath when he saw nothing wrong with sitting in his own excrement, and for days? What was wrong with them trying to make him eat his food and not throw it out the window at people as they went about their business on the sidewalk? What was wrong with them trying to get him to take his medication – proven drugs – which were prescribed for him after extensive psychological examinations, which were conducted by some of the best psychiatrists in the field? But it was folks like you, my dear friends, who had gathered in throngs to protest at the gates of the insane asylum, demanding his release. Mad Johnny Bwoy is tearing up our streets only because simpletons like you were the ones who put him out there. And now, you have a nerve to look and to sound distressed, following up on all that he does, asking yourselves, “Is he going to kick that empty beer bottle, today?” Or, “Is he going to chase that mangy stray dog, today?” Or, “Is he going to chase after that woman, laughing hysterically, and naked as the day he was born?” But, please remember – you caused this!
And, as for you Tom and as for you Glenroy, I have a bone to pick with the both of you. I have often heard the two of you talking, quietly, among yourselves, referring to him saying, “Mister Johnny Bwoy this”, and “Mister Johnny Bwoy that”. And, “I know he was a professor at the university teaching philosophy – so I wonder what he would think about so and so.” Yes! Yes! I have heard such talk, many times! And what do you mean why I was eavesdropping, and why I wasn’t minding my own business? Fellows, you, clearly, do not know the meaning of the word whisper. You do not know how to whisper. And I do not care what he did when he was sane because – for right here and now – him mad, him very, very mad! And you guys don’t see anything wrong with him always wearing a baby nappy on his head?! Does that look normal to you, chaps? You cannot, or you ought not to try and apply the rules of sedate normalcy to one as raving as him, because him “mad as shod”, as they say.
When I see how you chaps, and so many people like you about town, have been behaving, especially as Mad Johnny Bwoy is allowed to continue to create mayhem in our streets, I often wonder if you are more insane than he is. As I said, it was people like you who had lobbied the authorities for his release, and now that he is all over us, like the proverbial “rollin’ calf”, I am greatly perplexed by your woeful sense of apathy. All that you do is talk about what laws he has broken, and what rules and what regulations he is likely to break – and all of you who are sitting here with me, on this lovely Friday afternoon in this restaurant, like myself, are workers in the government’s Ministry of Health. And every attempt that I made to carry this matter to higher authorities you not only ended up outvoting me, but you also threatened me. It is almost like Johnny is holding something like the Sword of Damocles over you. Oh, what is that you ask? It is from an ancient Greek parable and metaphor which is often used to describe the constant, looming threat and the anxiety that accompanies great power, wealth, or ambition. It represents the precarious nature of success and the reality that disaster can strike at any moment. Chaps, I am very surprised that you did not pose that question to Professor Johnny, himself, since, in your own eyes, he is far saner than I am.
Do you know what, chaps? I have had enough, as all of this focus on Mad Johnny has made me lose my appetite. Hey, waiter! Waiter! Come here, as I am leaving! How much do I owe you?! Fellows, try and enjoy your weekend as I am going to make a concerted effort to enjoy mine. I do not know how those Americans do it.
They have excellent laws, but they just do not enforce them. They let the lawless dictate to the lawful, for some strange reason. They praise ideas and esteem actions which have no basis in data nor in sage experience and then condemn those which do. They protect those who beat them up, and then they persecute those who have their best interests at heart – like a woman who has been battered by her husband who helps him to fight off and tell the constables bad words when they try to arrest him. They are very much like you jokers who support Mad Johnny Bwoy. I cannot blame him for doing what he has long been doing, but I do blame you who have allowed him to do as he pleases with impunity. As I said, they have their hell, but this is mine. This is mine. If I hear anyone of you say, out loud, and one more time, “Is what next that mad man going to do?” I swear, I am going to hurt somebody – real bad. I wonder if Mister Thomas S. Szasz, was right when he said that: “Insanity is the only sane reaction to an insane society.”? See you next week.
