Satirical Corner

In what political analysts described as ‘a brilliant strategy’ designed to shore up the People’s National Party’s fortunes for the next general elections, has been set out in a treatise produced by the ‘One PNP’ faction for ‘adoption’ at the Party’s NEC meeting this Sunday. The document is centered on “mobilising full support for the incumbent Party Leader, Mark Golding”, and is seen “as a fillip for restoring party unity and the price comrades should be willing to pay to bring back the love.”

Referencing the Ministry of Health and Wellness’s earlier campaign slogan: ‘Love your body, treat your body right’, the group argued that this was an important consideration in helping to ‘bring back the love’ to the PNP, which has wandered from the mainstream of the Party’s activities for some time now. They said that “notwithstanding the rejection by the party delegates for their ‘bring back the love campaign’, the truth is it was not done through a constituted party annual conference, and in the interest of democracy they have a right to bring it before the NEC for consideration.”

In what critics say bear much parallel with the Trump’s strategy to not recognise Biden’s presidential victory, the ‘One PNP’ supporters claiming to possess “the wealth of knowledge and experience” have been “canvassing NEC members and party supporters” to see if they could ‘bring back the love’ through the back door by running for party leadership positions. 

But a spokesman for the fractious group insisted that its campaign is to reignite “this once great movement”, by asking as many persons from their group “with the most experience, and who have served in various capacities in the Party and Government to run for the vacant NEC positions as they are best suited to effectively support the new Party President, Mark Golding.”  “This is the only way we can re-energise the Party and give it new life to bring together a coalition of progressive forces to make the party and Jamaica great again”, a spokesman asserted. 

The ‘One PNP’ faction said that in its “readiness to help the party leader and unite the party”, the central strategy will take place at Sunday’s NEC, when the members of the ‘One Party’ faction, “with the ‘wealth of knowledge and experience’ will be running for the positions of Chairman, Deputy Chairman and General Secretary, and any and every other positions available at that time.” 

The fractious group admitted that although the strategy was not previously discussed with the party leader, they nevertheless felt “that the love and commitment they all share for the Party was important to pivot their support by way of a ‘surprise’ for the party president and an endorsement of their full support for his leadership”.   The spokesman for the group quoted Audley Shaw’s concession speech for the JLP’s leadership race on November 11, 2013 where he said: “I am willing and ready to rebuild the Labour Party to bring back the love and unity to the Labour Party, onward to victory”, and it definitely worked in 2016 and beyond.

In deference to the party leader’s choice of chairman and general secretary, the group insisted that the party leader would be ‘bias’ were he to express his choice for party position, as he should remain neutral. “Any choice of the party leader that is endorsed by the NEC is the first sign of creeping dictatorship within the party”, a spokesman for the group argued.

The spokesman went on to rubbish the argument about the group not supporting the party leader and at least giving him his choice of general secretary as was the courtesy extended to all previous party leaders. “This kind of argument is pure trumpery “, he said, “they’re overlooking the central focus of our group in insisting that we should be running for every position available in the party over the next four years.”  He gleefully concluded that “running is good! as it will make the members of the ‘One PNP’ ‘fit and ready’ to energise the party to successfully contest the next general elections, by bringing back the love and unity as the JLP did in 2016.”

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